Sunday, March 30, 2014

How wondrously medicinal and therapeutic!!

I live in the mid-west and as most of the world knows, we have had a pretty long and rough winter.  It has been the winter that would not end!  Living in a new home, I really enjoyed the snow, at first.  Even though there were several unpaid days off, we were plowed in and unable to get out, I was ill with an upper respiratory issue, the furnace went out and we were without heat for several days, and it seemed every time we thought the dark and cold was just about to give us a break, there would be another six to eight inches in the forecast.  It was so cold at one point, my dogs would not even go out to go take care of business, nor would they use puppy pads or any other contraption I could come up with inside.  I finally had to shovel out a spot in the yard, and even then it took several attempts and quite a bit of prompting from coach Mom.

I tried to keep a positive attitude about it, knowing Spring was just around the corner...okay, maybe not this one, maybe the next corner...or the next...

Yet, those cold dark mornings and evenings out with the dogs, while waiting to get my fence approved, the long dark drives into and home from work in the ice and in less than safe conditions every single day was really starting to take its toll on me and on everyone around me.

But gradually, one day at a time, the furnace got fixed, the fence got approved and installed, and the days began to get a little longer.  Being ever hopeful about Spring really maybe, possibly, hopefully being on its way, I started making plans for a garden and the flower beds, started buying grass seed and fertilizer.

Could it possibly be?  This weekend even?  While the forecast for yesterday was cool, cloudy and oppressive, it was still showing we were going to get temperatures nearing the 60's and lots of sunshine today.  We'd all heard that before.  Well this time we really did!!  WE REALLY DID!

I got out and washed the sides of the house and the windows from all the muddy puppy paw prints, seeded the front, back and side yards of the house, swept out the patio, washed several loads of laundry, was creative in the kitchen, paid bills, balanced the checkbook, did the budget, walked one dog, got outside to the park and put in 5k in intervals, visited with friends, then came home and took the other pup out for a walk before collapsing!  What an amazing and productive day.

As I sit at my table with the doors open enjoying the sunshine and the sound of the birds singing, I am reminded how blessed I truly am.  Spring has come again and it is a new beginning, a fresh start for all of us, new buds on the trees, flowers budding, some even blooming, the grass is greening up, the birds are happily chittering away, the bikers are biking, runners are running, families are out walking together and neighbors are visiting.  What a difference a little sunshine can make.  How wondrously medicinal and therapeutic!!

My sunshine, my medicine;
My sunshine, my therapy!


Friday, March 28, 2014

Personal Victory!

A couple posts back I shared a post about starting over.  My last race was this time last year, a quarter marathon.  And it has also been a year since I have been able to train fairly regularly.  I have been doing interval training, which is a mix of short walks and runs/jogs to build my strength and endurance.  I'm not back to a full mile run yet and haven't been walking more than one to two miles in any one stretch either.

The week came for the very same race I had my first DNF (did not finish).  My friends were doing it again this year, one of whom had won an age groupers award and also would have their name on this year's shirt.  I really wanted to get one of those shirts with her name on it, so thought to myself, hmmm, why don't I just register for the race.  I thought about it for a day or two, the race was closing in and I needed to make my decision fast.  Okay!  I'll do it!!  This is the perfect race to try coming back.  If I couldn't go the full quarter mile, at least I will have tried and it wouldn't be a DNF for a different race.  Going for it!

I went online to register, but it was past the deadline.  I wasn't sure there were even any spots left.  I contacted the running group and was informed there was still room and I could register the morning of the race.  And that is exactly what I did!

I got a late start and by the time I got there, signed in and found my friends, it was just about time to start.  Perfect!  No time to even think about it.  The next thing I know we are off and 'running'.  Well, I went to the end of the group and started with a walk.  Then wanted to grab some photos, so ran up to the middle to get the shot.  Running felt kind of nice.  Let's keep doing this.  And I did.  I ran.  I ran more than I had been training and I walked and then I ran some more.  I continued to run longer distances, well past the point I had done in training.  Then came the point in the route where I had to stop last year....Buh-Bye!  See Ya'!

That felt great!  There were hills and it was tough even walking at a brisk pace, but I continued to change up with walks and runs.  I really started to believe I just might make it!  I was getting further and further back and I knew I was at the very end of the quarter mile pack, but that was okay.  As the saying goes, 'you're lapping everyone still home on their couch'.

I saw that five mile marker and was feeling pretty well spent.  Between the fifth and sixth mile felt like the longest mile of the race and I was convinced it hadn't been measured properly.  But then there it was, mile six!  Beautiful mile six!  Only .55 left, I've so got this!!  And of course the route ended where it began.  It began with a downhill wrap, which meant...Oh no!  I am so weak.  Keep going, you've got this!  Kick that DNF in it's butt!  Come on, one step at a time...take another one....and another....THERE IS THE FINISH LINE!!  Run!  Running!  AWESOME!  I'm running across the finish line!!  I did it!!  I DID IT!!

I had done it!!  From my first DNF to a PR (personal record).  It felt so wonderful to achieve this personal victory.  And now with that one on the books, I am moving forward, pursuing the 5K races this Spring and Summer and plan to be able to run them the full way through in no time.

Don't ever give up!

*facebook post

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Image and mental health

I had to unjoin a facebook women's running group last night, because one of the women had posted that she had "eaten herself sick".  She had consumed four little rib bones and a cup of spinach...OMG!  Seriously, that's what she said, she had "eaten herself sick".

I went off when I read another woman responded with "I feel ya'".  REALLY?!  OMG!  The ignorance! I posted they should not encourage these type of comments and tried to share some sage words.  There were plenty of people on board with me, but when I read other posts saying things like' tomorrow's another day', 'everyone does that', blah blah blah, again I have to ask, really?  They may have thought they were showing her support, but if they truly believed that was support, then they also have a problem.

When you hear these type of comments, over something like a 'cup of spinach', it is clearly a red flag.  A warning for which you should take heed.  IF you hear someone you love talking like this, if you hear yourself talking like this, most often there are other issues going on.

Depression and self loathing were coming through on her post loud and clear.  What is wrong with a society that feels the need to make women feel so terribly bad about themselves?  People DIE trying to meet the enforced image of the 'perfect' woman.  It is sickening, maddening and terribly heartbreaking...

Most of you may have seen the the time lasped videos of what happens to a model's final photo before going to print.  If not, please take a moment to watch this example.



Self image must not be that of loathing, disgust and abuse.  You would not allow someone to speak to or about your best friends like this, why would you do so to yourself?  What you see can be quite different from what others see.



Ultimately it is not the good opinion of others you should be seeking.  Find your dreams from deep inside, find out what it is you love about yourself and enjoy doing and expand on that.  Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables, preferably organic when you are able  Add legumes, nuts, and whole grains to your 'go to' food choices.  But do NOT beat yourself up if you consume something you feel to be less than perfect.  It should not be a full time, all consuming and obsessive  job!  And it should most certainly not be a source of punishment.

Move your body everyday in some way.  Try to live your life and love your life, not despise it, and definitely not punishing yourself at every turn.  When you self deprecate, you are belittling an amazing and wonderful creation, an amazing machine your beautiful and loving spirit was given to dwell and thrive within.  Food is your fuel, and it can be fun and it can be art, but most of all it can be healthy and it can be your friend, not your enemy.  YOU are your friend and not your enemy.  Please stop treating yourself as such.

If you do find yourself or someone you love counting each corn flake, having a great day until you look in the mirror, paying multiple visits to the scale in a day, skipping meals intentionally because of calories, hear your self-speak beating you down, if you become depressed just because you put some small morsel of food in your mouth and swallowed it, or find yourself inducing vomiting, PLEASE  seek a professional's help.  At the very least, confide in a friend, a healthy friend, do NOT speak to someone who encourages your self loathing.  Ask your friend to see a professional with you if you're afraid.  But please, don't let it continue.  Love yourself, enjoy your life.  You may be the person that is going to save someone else in the future.

Note:  If you have questions or would like to do a little research on eating disorders, here is a helpful resource link:  http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/resource-links

*Images and videos pulled from various internet sites



Saturday, March 1, 2014

Starting over

About this time last year, I had my first DNF.  A DNF is when a runner 'did not finish' their race.  It was NOT something I wanted to do, but at about 1.99 miles on my Garmin, my left foot screamed STOP!  And I did.  I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't even get to that 2.0.
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I was working on a quarter marathon and had recently been having some issues with my left foot.  I had just completed an almost four mile 5k the previous week and was so proud of myself for sticking it out and running the entire course, (which just happened to be little bit off its mark). I had picked up some weight, so just figured that was all it was.  I had to call one of my friends to come and pick me up.  I hobbled part of the way back and she met me halfway.  I was heartbroken as I stood at the finish cheering on my friends and other finishers.


I continued to try periodically to run, but aside from an occasional training run with intervals, I was not having much luck. I had gone immediately over and purchased some very cushioned and comfortable running shoes to ease some of the pressure.  Iced, rolled, stretched, elevated, protected, cushioned and on and on.  Every time I would think I was almost there, it would remind me I wasn't.

Months went by and as I would attempt to run, or even try to get miles in with walks, I just wasn't getting any better.  I went to a professional and had them assess the injury. Confirmed, a pretty nice case of plantar fasciitis.  He also confirmed this could take a very long time to heal and that I was doing everything right.  I would need to be patient and continue doing what I had been.  He suggested orthotics as had some of my friends.  I wasn't in a position to go to a specialist, nor could I afford the specially fitted orthotics.  He understood and gave me another option.  Go to my running store and ask for their running orthotics specifically for plantar fasciitis, which I did right away.  They removed the inserts from my cushioned shoes and inserted the orthotics.  Heaven!  And for a whole lot less money!!  If it didn't improve, I knew at some point I was going to need to see a specialist.

I continued to wear the inserts everywhere, everyday.  Slowly, but steadily, my hobble became less pronounced.  I began to limp a little less each day.  Over the next month or so, I really noticed an improvement, so I began wearing regular shoes, which seemed to be okay....at first.

The pain came back and I was absolutely crushed!  I had to start over again.  I began again and you would think I had learned my lesson, but no, of course not.  I stopped wearing them and it came back.  This time I put them on and left them on!

Gradually, it stopped always being at the back of my mind.  I became able to walk fairly normally again.  There were times I didn't even remember there was an issue, but each morning I would lace up my cushioned gel shoes with the special orthotics before I did anything else.  While my left foot was on the mend and getting all the attention, apparently my right foot felt jilted and decided to get in on the action.  I began having the same issues now with my right foot as I had been having with my left foot when the trouble first began.  I tried to stave this off by doing everything I had learned over the past year.

I had really packed on quite a bit of weight and this certainly was not helping the issue at all.  I decided to set a goal date of March 1, 2014 to begin my training again, from the very beginning, as if I had never been a runner.  Never done a triathlon, no warrior dashes, no night time trail races, no half marathons.  A beginner in every sense of the word.

I began really looking forward to this date!  I almost jumped the gun a couple of times, but my feet needed the rest and the time.  I continued to pamper both feet, but was very concerned that my right foot was going to be a problem.

I woke up this morning and it was March 1st, 2014!!  My right foot hurt.  I wasn't pleased, but I was still excited.  I wanted to try.  I pulled out an old pair of shoes that did not have my orthotics in them, but they are my favorite running shoes and they have a LOT of support.

After getting a few things done around the house, I felt I was stretched out enough to comfortably attempt my first training session.  The plan was to start with my 5k training program.  I would be working to achieve my most perfect running mile to date.  The goal, to get to a sub 10 minute pace, even if it is 9:59.  And then as the weight comes down again, I know the speed will increase.

I began my warm up walk.  I started very slowly to get a feel for my right foot.  The left foot seemed to be holding its own and even eager to begin running again.  Mentally, it couldn't be soon enough!  I felt familiar twinges in the right foot.  Oh no, I thought, please no, not again.  I continued very slowly.  For day one, there was a warm up walk, then 4 sets of 2 minute run/3 minute walk intervals, then a cool down walk.

It did feel amazing, as it always does, to be running again.  It was tougher with the additional pounds, but it still felt great!  So I continued, cautiously optimistic.  As the runs would begin, I felt myself getting back into a rhythm, but continued to keep the pace nice and easy.  At a 15 minute run pace, I felt that was a good place for me to be on this first day back.  I kept the walk intervals around a 20 minute pace or even slower.  There was a 5 minute warm up and cool down.

In 30 minutes, I had only gone 1.5 miles.  I couldn't believe it, but then I thought....I CAN'T believe it!!  I am finally training again!  I am running again!  I got in one and a half miles today!! Whoo-Hoo!!

Baby steps over time will add up to some great big steps for me and today's baby steps were a pretty big deal!